That Shit Ain’t Funny.

One of the dangers of working online is sometimes bad things happen. So, if you noticed that the Ol’ Doc has been conspicuous by his absence, it’s because my computer was hit by a virus from a hacker site, and I had to wipe the hard drive clean. As a result all of my research went out the window and I’m left playing Heinz 57…or as it’s better known catch up.

What does all that have to do with tattoos, you may ask? Well considering the boneheaded things people will do to screw with someone else’s life. Quite a lot, actually.

Take the Department of Health and Environmental Control of our old friend in stupidity, South Carolina, for instance. Now I know I pick on SC quite a bit, but believe me if they would just stop making it so easy with stupid crap, I would quit. Fortunately for me, I don’t think it’s gonna happen. You see, their civic leaders would have to grow a reasonable brain first.

As most of you who follow Tattoo Blog know, SC has a law that a tattoo studio may not operate within 1,000 feet of a school, or playground. Much like it’s a felony to sell drugs within 1,000 feet of a school or playground. And we all just know that if a tattoo studio were to operate within those boundaries we’d be up to our eyeballs in tattooed six year old juvenile delinquents. Revving their tricycles at all hours of the night. Smoking candy cigarettes. Drinking grape flavored cough syrup for a cheap high. Wearing spiked leather Oshkosh. All because of tattoos.

Well Atlantic beach tattoo studio Five Jesters has had its license pulled by the DHEC for being within 1,000 feet of a public playground.

So what, you say? It’s the law, and they should have known better. Well, gang, they did know better. Former Atlantic Beach Town Manager told DHEC, and Five Jesters, the park was closed. Town Manager Kenneth McIver claimed the town had condemned the playground, that it was not in use, and that the town had no plans to reopen the park.

Turns out that a local news station had to stick its nose in and investigate. The Park was not condemned, and was still in full operation. Must have been those newly tattooed toddlers jacking old ladies for bubble gum money that tipped them off, huh?

Maybe he thought it was a Hell of a good joke. But he’s not the one who has to pay the price for his little faux pas, is he?

Now Five Jesters artists have to pay the piper, lose revenue, lose the money they have laid out to comply with SC’s often ridiculous laws, and the rent, and renovations that had to be done to make a safe, workable tattoo studio.

I think at the least, since they were not the ones at fault, the town should have to reimburse them for all the inconvenience and loss of revenue. If it were any other business you could bet your bottom dollar they would have to pay for such a screw up. Let’s see if they have to do so when the business is the evil practice known as (shudder) tattooing.

I, for one, am not going to hold my breath. I’m still trying to find out who actually owns the hacker site…the SOB owes me quite a bit at the moment. That, and I’d like to give him a good old fashioned hammer party…lets see how many viruses he can write with powdered hands.